


Tables

by TrashAYfanfiction



Series: Super Dead Dove Remix Collection [3]
Category: Banana Fish (Anime & Manga)
Genre: Alternate Canon, Assailant Ash Lynx, Assailant Foxx, Body Horror, Bondage, Both Hunters, CBT, Camera, Choking, Dead Dove: Do Not Eat, Gay Bar, Honeypotting, Horror, Hunter and Prey, M/M, Military, Morally Grey Ash Lynx, Needle play, PTSD, Partial-victim Foxx, Psychological Horror, Rape, Rough Sex, Sociopath, Torture, revenge porn, trigger warning
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-26
Updated: 2019-01-26
Packaged: 2019-10-17 06:12:03
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,053
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17554901
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TrashAYfanfiction/pseuds/TrashAYfanfiction
Summary: “I love you. I miss you, Please come see me,” He was a child when he learned how to weaponize it.  He was thin, unassuming, he ‘looked like an angel’. Nobody expected it from him.Foxx paralled the man who first raped Ash.They were both hunting dangerous prey.**Please mind the tags. If you are easily disturbed, this is not for you.





	Tables

**Author's Note:**

> Please mind the tags: If you need something fluffy, I have other fics. There are hundreds of other fluffy BF fics on he net. Please, go there if that's what you wanted. 
> 
> This was never meant to be my biggest fic. Dedicated to the Devil's Circle for providing feedback on drafts. I have wrote some dark stuff, but I haven't used Ash as an assailant to this level before, so it feels weird. I scared myself writing this. Be warned. Ash is rightfully angry, but not a good person here. 
> 
> Also, there is a Banana Fish Kink Meme now that can be found here: https://bananafishkink.dreamwidth.org/353.html It's safe for all kinds of content, SFW fluff and hardcore disturbing NSFW as long as thing are tagged properly.

Foxx parallels the man who first raped Ash.

Tags: Horror, honeypotting, Dead Dove, Sociopath, torture, CBT, needle play, choking, PTSD,

………………………………………..

His sexuality was one of his most powerful weapons once he learned to use it. He was thin, unassuming, he ‘looked like an angel’. The element of surprise. Nobody expected it from him. Nobody expected to be kicked in the face, punched in the head, strangled.

That first hit was why he often won. Go for the vital points first, he wouldn’t last in a fight if he didn’t take them down quickly. Looking like a fucktoy got him that first hit in. Playing that dumb bitch had gotten him out of many situations. His sexuality was the only reason he succeeded in killing the first man when he was eight.

_ “I love you. I miss you, Please come see me,” _ He was a child when he learned how to weaponize it.

The man never noticed the gun tucked into his pants. The perplexed look in dark scary eyes when the shot went off and the hand went to it’s owners chest, clutching.

That happened often. He still didn’t know what made him a victim, what his own vulnerability was aside from his lack of physical bulk. Why it kept happening to him. As a child, he blamed his looks, but he slowly grew out of that.  

Beauty was a dangerous weapon. He was smaller, weaker. They never expected it, even when Dino warned them about his track record and saw his rap sheet. ‘Expect the unexpected’, his smile was bitter.

_ “But he looks like an angel! He could be in a boy band! A model!” _

It made him sick. To anyone else, he was just a piece of meat too; something pretty to look at. Pretty first, smart secondary. Physically attractive over charismatic.

He never wanted any of this, but he couldn’t refuse it as a weapon.

……sometimes he liked using this weapon, to spite what other’s thought of him….

It was fun to have vengeance on those who underestimated you…… Exasperating that many couldn’t see him as pretty and smart, he took advantage of that.

He hid this aspect of his personality from Eiji. There was no point in letting the other know. Eiji had seen him do it once with Marvin. Had seen him get ready for seducing Kippard, but played it off as a joke. The Eiji, Ash knew saw everything behind a glass wall now. Ash wouldn’t let him see this side of him….

Shorter knew about this side of him, but kept quiet most of the time. He let Ash have his evils.

…………………………….

“You can’t just use people!” The older boy would scream, offended, horrified.

“Why not? They use me.” Dead stare, no empathy. Green eyes cold like the jade rocks they were so often compared to. He was this monster in these moments.

“It’s wrong! Just because it happens to you, doesn’t mean it’s okay to do to somebody else!”

“…..he was going to use me. It’s just payback,”

………………………………..

Sometimes Shorter won the argument, sometimes he didn’t. Ash had calmed down since first meeting the kid at 14, but he still had his moments. Shorter didn’t argue as much now that the moments were rare. Maybe he understood Ash was angry. This was a way to vent. He’d helped Ash see other people as humans.

….Shorter was gone now.

As long as the target ‘kind-of deserved it’, it was okay.

These men were pathetic excuses for humans….

This man at the gay bar with the scar on his face was one of those. He read as dangerous. They were there for Frog, but what was one more pedophile? Most of the men here at least knew about the trafficking going on upstairs. Many had participated. ….he recognized a few of the patrons.

He wondered if they recognized him.

Probably not. Right now, he was far from the nymph playing to their every need, or scared child with tears and snot running down his face. He was a beautiful, more mature looking, fucktoy at this moment. Something where they could have read the danger if they had only considered it. He wasn’t hiding anything. That was the funny part. He looked how he looked, he naturally read this way…. If they were too dumb to realize… it wasn’t his fault.

Natural camouflage. An enticing aesthetic. Many animals did it…. Predators.

Frog, they were here for Frog. Don’t get sidetracked. That ugly inhuman fuck had the photos they needed. He was slimy, only in it for his own gain... They were all animals that ate each other… Ash had debated taking him down before. He dreamed about brutally and gleefully eliminating this thorn in his side. He dreamed about killing so many of the men who’d hurt him.

Now the man was in front of him.

It felt so good to be finally wielding the power. The subhuman piece of lard pissing himself in front of a being he had written off as a disposable sex toy.

Who was disposable now?  _ You served your purpose. _

…………………………….

They finished their business with Frog, but the flashbacks were still in his head.

Flashbacks to being filmed, being raped by a room full of men for their own sick entertainment….. Tears egging them on, or being yelled at for the tears because it ‘broke character’ of who he was supposed to be. Ash had wanted to shoot him so badly. He held it in for Max.

But he  _ really _ wanted to. It would have been so satisfying to watch his brains splatter across the ‘studio’ where Frog had raped countless others.

Ash chuckled darkly to himself, _ ‘I’m so fucked up.…” _

The man with the scar was still in the bar when they came back downstairs. He gave Ash a smile.

The man had been waiting for him to come downstairs. Ash shivered.

A predator’s gaze. Feral. From a young age he could read the difference between those who ‘wanted’ him and ‘wanted to kill’ him. This one toed the line of both.

Maybe he was still riding the adrenaline from Frog. But…..

Sociopath. Serial killer. He’d seen that gaze before. He knew that gaze well. It was the gaze of his baseball coach. It had looked him in the face for over a year starting when he was seven. It had haunted his dreams.

It _ still _ haunted his dreams.

His stomach turned. It wasn’t often he encountered this type….. not since the man when he was eight. He was thankful for that.

The man carried himself like career military, just like the first man… His baseball coach. 

 

Military, not a spy. Able to plan, but not blend in. He didn’t hide his intentions well. Someone like Blanca would have blended seamlessly. This guy was clunky, powerful, brute force…..no tact. It was always satisfying to turn the tables on those who thought they could win with power alone.

Maybe he was Ex-military and his reflexes had dampened.

_ Unless that’s what the man was bidding to be. ….just strong, but hiding something. _ He knew how to play that twist though.

Ash brushed it off. Most guys weren’t as smart as he, nor they, thought they were.

This would be a good target. He could blow off some steam.

He was a monster after all.

“I think I know him,” Ash whispered to Max, “You take the information, I’m going to get some more,”

“Wait, I thought you said-“

“I think I know now. If I don’t contact you by noon tomorrow, you can start looking for me, but I should be fine,”

“What are you gonna do?”

“What do you think~, daddy-o?” Ash gave the other’s rear a suggestive squeeze, reveling in the discomfort it gave the older man, “I’m going to see if he still wants to buy me that drink~, ta-ta,”

 

“Wa- Hey wait a minuet!” Max grabbed him by the arm, pulling him close, whispering at him quick and worried. “So you’re gonna sleep with this guy?!”

“It’s what I do,” His smile was sharp, charming nonetheless.

“W-what about Eiji?”

Ash let out an annoyed snort, “What about Eiji?”

“Well, I thought you two were….”

Ash brushed Max’s hand off of him, “He knows I do this. I think you should too,” Green eyes were distant, judging the person judging them, “Go, I’ll be fine on my own,”

 

_ I”ll be fine. _

……………………………………………….

“Oh my god, he’s such an old fogey! He never wants me to have any fun,”  Ash plopped down next to the man and stretched across the table. His lean waist peeked out from his waistband, catching the light as his shirt rode up from the movement. “You seem like much more fun,”

His finger played with the brim of the man’s drink. The low light hid his calluses of fighting, the man would never know he held a gun most days. He knew his pale skin was glowing in the blacklight, dark tank top offsetting it’s lightness.  _ Come here.  _

“Can I have a sip of this?” he put on his best charade. Tittering, brainless, maybe just an edge of punky rebellion energy. A bad boy, but a dumb boy. Something fun, exciting to chase.

The man cracked an expression, “Hello again, kitten. Are you drunk?”

“Not yet, but I’d like to be,” velvet voice, licking his lips. He knew men would go wild for him.

“So you’ll take me up on that drink?”

“If the offer still stands? Can I have a sip of this?”

“Suit yourself, babe,”

Ash took a swig of the other’s drink. Watered down scotch. Light alcohol content. A man his size could probably drink several without feeling anything.

“So what’ll you have?”

 

“I’ll have what you’re having,”

Ash accompanied him to the bar. He watched the drink being made closely. Nothing strange added.

They returned to the table and talked about nothing for a while. Who Max was, Ash explaining “Even since I was young, I’ve had a taste for older men,” All lies, but not entirely. The man seemed to be catching on to being baited.

“How old are you now?” Grey eyes were enticed, but gave him a pointed look.

“I’m an adult,” He acted more buzzed than he was.

 

Ash had switched their drinks, just in case.

He laughed and gestured to his thin frame, “Look at me, I’m a lightweight,” He wasn’t entirely wrong, but he was playing it up. He wasn’t drunk, alcohol inhibited his reflexes; he needed those for later.

“Do you want to dance with me?”

_ Come here, come closer so I can strangle you. _

“I don’t dance,”

“Do you want to make out in the back then, instead of on the dancefloor?”

…………………………………………

“A-ah!” He played into it. The man’s hands were on ass, cupping it pulling him closer. He’d moved his gun to his jacket, but this seemed like the kind of guy who would be even more turned on if he found a weapon at his crotch.

_ Dangerous Prey. _ He chuckled to himself.

_ RUN _ . His intuition screamed.  _ Too big of prey. _ He told his anxiety to shut up. He knew what he was doing.

Dangerous ones made a more rewarding hunt.

Even if he didn’t look for trouble, trouble would find him.

It was okay to look for trouble. It’s fine. Fine. It’s not like he hadn’t done it before. The way this man looked at him, it was malicious.

He was just taking the preemptive strike.

………………………. 

Another hand unzipped his fly and slid down the back of his pants. Fingers playing with his hole. He leaned into the man, so he could get a better angle. “Mmm, ah. Not here. You can take me home, ya know,”

“I didn’t think it would be this easy, you really are a slut aren’t you?”

“Yes?” Sweet green eyes, begging. The pathetic fuckable pout he had perfected, and few could resist.

A façade he reveled in. He could do anything as long as they were turned on.

…………………………………………………

He followed the man to a hotel. The streetlights reflected across the scar, making it look even more disfigured. Raised and pink, it was centered in the fleshy part of his cheek. There was likely damage to his teeth from whatever inflicted it.

Ash wondered what it was….how old it was. What did it. What happened to them?

He wondered about re-opening that old wound.

The hotel was of Dino’s buildings in this side of town. _ Perfect. Home turf.  _ This was one of Marvin’s old places. He knew all the escape routes here. He could vanish into the city before the shot from his revolver finished ringing. He remembered doing it before. Blowing the man’s brains out, fragments of bone and brain splattering the room behind him before sliding down the fire escape. Blanca had helped him with the getaway.

He used the memory as fuel to his already blazing fire.

That victim hadn’t been expecting it from him. Too preoccupied with his own arousal to sense the danger.

_ How far would this man go before he realized tonight would be his death? _

He leaned into the man’s chest. It was strong and solid despite his age. Maybe not ex-military…. Active military. The man likely weighed twice as much as him, though in muscle, unlike the usual clients.

Ash slipped his hands under the man’s coat and around his back pulling him closer.

_ Shoulder holster! Danger! He’s carrying! _

Ash remained calm. “Are you police, mister?” Light, flirty.  _ Don’t drop the act yet… _

“Do you think I am?” Deep voice, commanding and serious, and a bit… smug?

The man cringed when Ash kissed him.  _ ‘Ah, I see. Maybe a homophobe. In the closet. Think’s I’m hot, but …Probably kills guys like me, despite wanting to bed us. The best type. _

_ He thinks he’s untouchable.’ _

………………………………………

_ You have no proof. You’re just scared. You’re scared to be desired. _

_ I have good reason. _

_ Don’t hunt people. _

_ Everyone wants to hurt me. He makes me uncomfortable. _

_ Everyone makes you uncomfortable….. _

_ I’m a gangster, I do bad things……. _

_ Tell yourself what you want, you’re in the wrong here. _

………………………………………

           “It’s okay if you don’t want to kiss me, maybe you can give me something else to put in my mouth,” He tucked hair behind his ear, as his other hand flexed around the revolver in his pocket.

“You are eager, aren’t you?”

Voice was commanding, distinguished. Ash wanted to make it scream in pain. Empty blue grey eyes he wanted to make fade out. Nothing too horrible. Just a quick shot, clean death.

This man had done nothing to him personally, but the more he was with the man, the more unease he felt, the more his instincts told him to run. Run far away. Danger.

_ Leave. Leave get out now. _

He ignored them. He always wanted to run when men touched him or commented on his appearance. He wanted to kill anyone who touched him… He was good at holding it together.

The door to the hotel opened with a creak. They walked up a set of stairs. No check in, so the man was already set up in this room. The flimsy room door was bolted behind them. There was already a bullet hole in the door…

He surveyed the room, one lumpy queen bed, a threadbare armchair. It would be amusing to UV test this room.  _ How many body fluids were around? And what kinds? It’s gross here.  _

He watched where the man’s hands were, the movements of his clothes….. shoulder holster.

He sunk down to his knees, trailing his hand down the older man’s legs. Bulk on his ankle.  _ Ankle holster. Knife or gun?  _ He didn’t let the man acknowledge that he knew of this third holster.

He pressed his face into the man’s clothed groin and moaned. Dust floated through the air, catching in the yellow streetlights. The man was hard, his dick twitched. Ash kissed it over the clothes, maintaining eye contact, keeping track of where the other’s hands. This would be a perfect position to draw one of those pistols and blow his brains out.

The dirt from the carpet of the hotel left grey marks on his dark jeans.

The polyester was rough. He remembered rugburns on his knees and ass from this place.

Men had an easy time killing sluts. He needed to be careful.

…………………………………

_ You are past being careful. Finish it and leave. You can’t take this guy in a fight. _

_ That’s why I want to do this. He won’t be expecting it from me. _

_ ….but what if he is? _

_ I’ll be fine. I’m always fine. _

……………………………………

The man hooked his thumb in Ash’s mouth, pulling his cheek back, exposing teeth. Ash let his focus blur as he tasted the digit. Brass.

He loaded those guns recently.

“Your lips are soft, boy,”

Ash made his best puppy face. He stuck out his tongue as an invitation of how plush his mouth could be.. The twitched his tongue.

“You are an enticing little bitch,”

Ash moaned around that finger. The pinch of his cheek was uncomfortable. Men usually liked that look of discomfort. They told him it was  _ ‘cute’ _ and fucked him harder. ….He hated when it was hard. The jerking motion of his body…. The bruises… He wished he could find pleasure in the pain. Wished he could see some appeal in submitting to another. The best he could manage was to grit his teeth and let his mind wander.  _ They would finish when they finished. You only needed to be present for so much, then they would get lost in their own head. _

The man wasn’t reaching for his fly yet. Something was wrong.

The man dragged him to the bed, setting Ash on his back.

“You sure are horny,” Ash mumbled around the grip on his face.

The man leaned in close, “You’re leading me on,”

Ash smiled, lewd, rocking his hips up.

           Ash heard the rattle of metal and jumped.  _ Chain. _ The man had fished out a pair of handcuffs.

           “Oh, you’re into that kind of thing?” He wriggled temptingly against the bed.

“You’re assuming I wasn’t?” _ A challenge, _ “Just what did you think you were in for?” a wordless question of  _ ‘How stupid are you?’ _

Ash gripped the sheets, pressing himself to the military man again, breathing hot into his ear.

“Mmm, I don’t like being tied up,” He clicked his tongue, “But I could tie you up though, ride you to completion. Do you want to be my sex toy?”

“No, but I’d like you to take your clothes off. Starting with your jacket,”

“If you wanna fuck me, my pants are more important,”

The man’s hand had left his mouth and was now possessively stroking his hair.

Ash mirrored the action, bringing his fingers to the older man’s scar…. Such a sensitive place.

The hotel room smelled of piss and cheap cigars. ….He’d been in this room before. He remembered the man over him…. He remembered the squeaky steel bed frame hitting the wall while he made no sound and focused all his energy on keeping his panic attack under control. He remembered letting his mind wander to all the things he’d do to the man if their positions were reversed…..  _ Smash his head into the wall… Break his nose. Choke him. Cut his fucking dick off. _

He thought back to that time in prison. Stabbing the man in the cock with the fork… It was erect and oh so eager to mark him…

It was thrilling….. All that blood flowing out. Originally from arousal.

_ I’m so fucked up…. _

Large hand slid down his arm, tracing his delicate wrist into his pocket, grasping around his revolver. 3.5inch shortened barrel.

_ Good. Are you surprised? I’ve won. _

He’d shortened it for times just like this, smaller meant easier to conceal. The accuracy tradeoff wasn’t noticed because of how often it was close range.

No fear in the other man. Soulless. Satisfaction? A challenge. He was looking down at him…. Just like his baseball coach…. And Ash felt cold.

_ This man knows you played him.  _ This man  _ knows _ you played him. Terror. Realization.

_ Pull the trigger. This is your chance! Get OUT. _

He didn’t move. He was screaming orders but his body couldn’t move.

He froze like the stupid kid he was when he was seven and his coach started touching him. His mind  _ screamed. _

Eyes above him. Hands on him. Wailing. Crying. Police. Police who didn’t help. Family who blamed him. Nobody. There was nobody to help him! He needed to help himself. 

 

_ FUCKING MOVE AND HELP YOURSELF. _

_ Why was this so hard?! You’ve done this countless times before-why!? _

_ WHY DID YOU DO THIS TO YOURSELF?! Why did you do this to yourself?  _ The little boy in his head cried. Sniffling, begging him to stop. The little boy had been begging him to stop.

“So this is what you’re packing, cowboy,” Rough, battle worn hands deftly confiscated the revolver from his slack grasp.

Ash’s breath hitched. Strangling. He was being strangled, or at least he felt like he was being strangled. His heart pounded.  _ Why did you do this to yourself? _

_ Move. Move! Stab that motherfucker. His gun is right there! He has two of them! It’s a Sauer P226 Tac. Grab one and unload the fucking clip into him! This is not the time to be getting choked up! _

The man’s teeth were yellow, blue eyes barely saturated with any color.

_ His coach had blue eyes….. _

The hotel room smelled like booze and cigarettes. The light from the neon sign outside the window flickered.

It was dark, the room was dark.  _ Turn of the fucking light. We are not playing anymore, I don’t need this ‘mood lighting’. _

_ Let me see you in that sick yellow incandescent buzzing. _

The wiring was always janky in here.

_ It was always a fucking dump…..  _ The wallpaper was peeling in the corner by the window… it hadn’t been replaced yet.

He first noticed it when someone raped him until blood ran down his legs. This was before Dino, back when there was nobody invested in him surviving….  

_ “Does that hurt?”  _ a question that didn’t expect an answer. He wasn’t a person anyways.

He was just silent and let it happen.

He was praised for not passing out.

That was a long time ago….

It never happened like this anymore. He never walked into it without being able to get away. He was used to dealing with guys like this….

So why. Why was he frozen. This man hadn’t done anything yet, he’d just called Ash’s bluff.

Most of Dino’s guys were from Ash’s ‘old life’. Most underestimated him even when warned. Most couldn’t believe a whore was so smart until they were beaten bloody.

Ash knew who they were.  _ Who was this man? _

His look of puzzlement must have been easy to read. The man tossed the revolver across the room. Ash’s eyes inadvertently followed it. The man chuckled at his longing.

“Allow me to introduce myself. My name is Colonel Eduardo Foxx, Dino Golzine has hired me to bring you home,”

“Don’t worry child, he wants you alive. I don’t think you’d be that much fun to kill anyways. With all his talk I expected you to be a lot harder to catch, but you came right to me,”

_ You overestimated yourself. _

“Tell me, did you know who I was? Or were you just going to kill me?”

_ Keep playing, Ash. You’ve been caught, but you’re not done yet. _

“I was going to get laid,” Honey voice. Heart pounding.  _ Don’t drop the façade. Pleasepleasepleaseplease. Buy any time you can… _

“I don’t think that’s what you were planning. I see the way you look at me. I saw you switch our drinks, and check the exits as we arrived. …and your little freakout just now….”

_ Don’t freeze. Don’t- _

“I’m a little fucked in the head, past trauma and all. It really gets in the way of my sex life,” He pouted and wiggled his hips in a way he hoped was inviting…

“Monsieur thinks it’s time for you to come home,”

“Bite me,” Halfway between an attack and an invitation….

“So you’re planning on following through with what you were promising?” Hand squeezed his flaccid penis. “You don’t seem that interested,”

It continued stroking him through his pants, soft skin enticing all the same. Alluringly delicate, in contrast to the sizable hard he had felt against his face minutes earlier.

Ash shrugged, nonchalant. “Are you going to fuck me anyways?”

_ ….it’s not like I care. Do it. I dare you. _

“You’re too arrogant to be cute, but I hear you feel wonderful,” The fingers hooked in his jeans and pulled him farther down the bed, causing his shirt to ride up. Thumb pressing against his perineum sending a jolt of pleasure to his toes..

_ Don’t freeze. Don’t freeze. _

Hands on his fly, tearing the button open, pulling his zipper...

           “W-What are you do-?!”

“I thought you wanted to leave your jacket on,”

Cold eyes. _ Don’t! DON’T LOOK AT ME. _

“Hck! Dino’ll kill you! He doesn’t like anyone touching his property,”

“We’ll see about that. He gave me full reign over anything I needed to subjugate you. My only stipulation was to keep you alive. Though, I was looking forward to what you’d do. I wanted to see what kind of monster you were. You’ve been very disappointing so far,”

He slipped off his jacket and the holsters. Ash watched them longingly… they were just out of reach. He was trembling so bad he probably couldn’t get a good shot off at this distance anyways…. He thought of Eiji saving him at the mansion…. Grazing Dino’s shoulder.

Anything less than a killing blow to this guy would just make him mad.  _ Wait to hit him.  _

 

_ Wait. _

 

_ …..all you ever do is fucking wait while they use your body like a toy…. Stop it! Hit him now! Fight! _

__ __ _ I can’t win now…. _

__ __ _ Why did you let it get this far? _

“You seem to be quite scared. I shouldn’t need these anymore,” Foxx set the handcuffs on the nightstand, “You look like you’ll behave. I’m told that’s uncharacteristic of you,”

“I’m just turned on,” He settled back into the musty pillows, their cheap fabric softener always irritated his skin… “And warning you what might happen if you indulge me,” _ I am the dangerous one, not Dino.  _ “I’m so excited, It’s been so long,”

“You’re still feeding me that act? I saw through it kid, you can stop now,”

_ No I can’t stop. If I stop, I’ll fall apart…. _

“You missed your chance to shoot me,” He fingered Ash’s groin again, enjoying how the boy froze under him. Soft cotton briefs…

“Make me scream~” The blonde’s voice caught and wavered,

“You couldn’t scream if you wanted to though, could you?”

“Get me off,” He tried to giggle, pulling up his shirt farther, presenting a soft nipple.

But really, _ GET OFF ME! Don’t touch me! _

Hands stroked his body.

“What could it hurt, if Dino gave you permission?” He palmed himself through his underwear before pulling them down. “Do you like what you see?” He was half hard. Maybe it was the adrenaline.  _ The thrill of hunting big prey… _

“I liked that look of fear in your eyes,”

__ _ …he’s just like my coach. _

“You’re looking for an opening,” A knowing look, but one that wanted to prove to Ash that even with all the cards he would still fail.  _ We’ll play in your court, but you still won’t win.  _ “You’re not as dangerous as you think you are,”

__ _ ……you aren’t either. _

…………………………………………………………

The sound of a fly unzipping. Something hot and meaty being pressed up against him. Slimy from pre-come…. At least something was slick.

Splitting pain.

He relaxed and exhaled as it pushed inside.

He was never kissed on the mouth…

“You’re tight. You weren’t expecting to do this tonight, were you? Dino will be happy to know you’ve been saving yourself,”  _ …that’s not how sex works. You needed to stretch me first. Most perverts like playing with me... _

_ Relax. Relax…. It’s not like this hasn’t happened before. _

“You can take it right?” Mock concern.

“You were told not to hurt me,”

“You’ll heal. I’ll let him know you came on to me and I couldn’t resist,”

“Tell him what you want…  Tell him his dick’s small and that I can barely feel it with that potbelly of his!” Biting anger. There were always too many emotions during sex until he killed all feeling. Anger was a good feeling. It was better than disgust…. Fear….

“Oh really now?” A dark chuckle, “So your needs aren’t satisfied,”

“Nope,”

“You looked scared of me earlier,”

__ _ Yeah, you look like my coach, but now I know. I know your type. _

Hips slammed into him. It wasn’t slick… His body strained around the intrusion.  

Ash grit his teeth. If there’s tension in my face I can relax elsewhere…

The man above him admired his body, pressing on his stomach trying to feel how far his dick was in.

Trembling, Ash’s hands fished in his breast pocket. “Here, use this,” A lube packet…

“Does it hurt?” Cupping his face. He leaned into the hand. Dry calloused palms.  _ ….that first man’s hands felt the same….. What if he cut those fingers off for him?  _ He gleefully remembered cutting Arthurs fingers in a parking garage. Backstabbing slimy bastard.

_ He deserved it. _

“It doesn’t feel good for you either,” The twirled the plastic pillow. He wasn’t going to offer a condom, it would be rejected anyways.

_ I hope you catch an STD from me, motherfucker. _

“Why do you have these?” Smirking.

“For times like this. I told you, I’m a slut,”  _ …it’s not like I’m lying. Please use it…. _

“How could I reject such a kind offer?” The packet was torn open.

It was cold and soothing…. Anything was better than before.

The bed creaked.

…………………………………………………………

Hands were on him. Big hands. _ Get them off, get them off! _ They were always so much bigger than him…  _ Why was he so physically weak. _ Thrusting. It hurt less now. Hips slapping against his butt.  _ …some people liked that sensation. _

__ _ Maybe it was meant to be like this. _

He hardly remembered a time it wasn’t.

I know what I look like, _ guys can’t help themselves. _

__ __ _ I look like prey… _

“You’re rebellious, but dumb. This accomplishes nothing,”

“I told you I want it. Can’t a guy just-unh! Want to be dicked down hard every once in a while?”

__ _ I drew the short stick in genetics and luck… _

“Drop your act, I’m still returning you to monsieur,”  

__ _ I’m sure you will. I always end up back there anyways. _

__ __ _ What if I die trying? _

__ __ _ I’m my own person. _

__ __ _ Why? Where has that ever gotten you? You were only picked out of the gutter because you’re pretty and a good fuck. Golzine owns you. He’s the main reason you’ve survived so far. _

__ __ _ Like right now. This man would have killed you if Golzine hadn’t told him not to. _

He pushed that thought to the back of his mind. ...back to the present. Man on top of him, fucking him. Thank god for being farsighted; it was all a blur.

__ __ _ Be present, but not too present. Be aware. Wait for your opening. _

The nightstand was shaking with their movement…. Warm fluid dripped down his crack. He gripped the man’s dress shirt and curled closer relishing the ferocity of the strokes; _ a lover’s embrace. _

Information and sexuality together made a powerful tool…..

His hole was sore. 

Max told him he had a talent for understatement. A bullet passing through his shoulder? Just a scratch. Being at the bottom of a prison gangbang with five brutal men? I have a headache. Max laughed at him for how he phrased things. Pain was temporary. _ Pain was a distraction. _

He moaned _. It’s been worse. _ He was used to this now.

“Hey movie star, do you wanna make another film?”

A camera was shoved in his face. He batted it away.

“Don’t break it. I’m just getting some souvenirs, like your friend Frog.”

_ Click. _

No reaction. Don’t have a reaction.

_ Click.  _

 

_ Calm. Keep your breathing even. _

Green eyes staring blankly up at the man above him.

_ Click. _

 

_ No! _ Thrashing against the pillow. _ Make it look like you’re feeling good, He can’t know you’re scared. _

“Smile. Really, you’re so pretty. Why do you have an attitude like this?”

_ ….He knows….. _

Cum was leaking out of his ass… Blood running down his legs. He could deal with that.

But don’t take a picture of him like this….not his face anyways…

They were all pictures of his face.

 

_ Click. _

_ Don’t cry. You’re not that fucking weak. _

_ Click click bitch, I’m going to empty a clip into you. _

“Are you going to lie to me again?”

“Ngh-! Noooo…” He howled.  _ I’m being stretched out. It hurts, it hurts… _ . His hair was pulled, wrenching his head back. Rough lips on his skin. Get that mouth off of him…..  _ DON’T TOUCH ME. It’s gross. It feels gross. _ Slobbering kisses…. Sucking on his nipple…. Choking him?! Hand on his throat, limiting air and blood.  _ No! Nono! I can’t pass out now! _ The world was getting fuzzy. Lightheaded.  _ Don’t fight it.  _

 

_ If I pass out now, I’ll miss my chance. Be strong. _

_ Ah, this ceiling. The cracks have gotten worse… _

"Don't lie to me again, don't seduce people"

“Iah- I’m not,” He whined. He twisted on the bed.

“Ah! More!” His legs were slick. He was dribbling pre-come from his prostate being hammered. ….it was sore. Too much… But he could keep going. One man wasn’t a gangbang. He’d been in the center of one of those before….

“I thought you said you didn’t like this,” a satisfied grunt,

“I’m-“ Breath, “uppity,” Breath. Breathing hard. Panic. Panic.  _ Keep it under control. You’ll make yourself faint before he does. _

The hand on his throat loosened. He gagged and gasped, air finally flooding his lungs.  Relief washed over him. Relaxation.

A smirk.

“I want you to fuck me harder. That feels so good,” Lies that weren’t entirely lies.

……………………………………………………..

__ _ Wait. _

The bed bounced. His body was jostled. He arched into it. He wanted this to be good.  _ Why couldn’t it feel good? _

_ Wait.  _

 

Grunts of pleasure from the colonel. Breathing quickened. Being farsighted meant he couldn’t focus on the ugly mug in his face even if he wanted to….but  _ not being able to see him makes him seem even more like my coach. _

_ Don’t close your eyes. Don’t close your eyes. Now if only his nose didn’t work…. _

_ Wait. _

 

The man’s hips were pumping faster. The sheets beneath him were sickeningly wet….

The coach’s basement floor was wet and gritty. He hadn’t lost his virginity on the basement floor; that was upstairs on the couch in front of the TV; they had been watching cartoons. But he remembered cement burn on his ass from another time. The basement smelled like death. He didn’t know what death smelled like back then. It was rancid. _ Slaughterhouse. _

_ Wait. _

 

Pace was erratic. Grip tightened, more weight was set into him, jamming him against the springs of the bed….. _ it was never comfortable here either. _

He had been too scared to fight. He was always too scared to fight. He was always scared back then. He was still terrified. It kept him up at night. But now he fought.

__ _ THERE. _ The moment of orgasmic bliss, grey eyes closed, as the man above him tensed up, Ash jerked to the side, swiping the handcuffs from on top of the nightstand, slamming one around the man’s wrist, clicking the other to the headboard.

A solid hit to the face and his coach was stunned. Foxx. His coach. No, Foxx, this is now.  _ Did it matter anyways? _

Ash moved. It was lukewarm and sticky….. His stomach rolled. Repulsive. You still came inside of me… _ Disgusting pervert.  _ He snorted, pulling himself from underneath his now shocked victim.  _ I’m like a black widow, huh? You weren’t expecting that. _

_ Biology gives you a disadvantage….. You got too caught up in the moment. Hurt me, don’t get off on me… _

Ash confiscated the colonel’s ankle knife. No resistance. Still processing the turn of events.  _ You’ve been played right into me. This is my home turf. _

__ __ _ ‘If the Devil exists, he probably looks like you…..’ _

__ __ _ Yep, he probably does. Lucifer was also tired of being stepped on… just like me. Realization and retaliation, makes you the bad guy. I guess I’m the bad guy. It’s better than being the victim _

__ __ _ Claiming to be something else doesn’t change that…. _

He had been chained to this headboard before… It wasn’t going anywhere. At least not the main wrought of the frame. Some of the support bars inside were rusted and could probably be snapped by a man of the colonel’s size…. He specifically missed those.

He sat on the man’s chest, fully aware of the mess he was making as he felt the liquid drip down his thigh. He picked through pockets until he found what he was looking for: the key and…

 

“You know, I’ve always wanted to smoke after sex, but nobody ever offers me one,” He lit a cigarette and took a drag, pocketing the zippo into his own jacket.

“Though, they usually have something nicer than this cheap crap. Like, sometimes they’ll give me a taste, but never do I get to just sit there and enjoy it, ya know?” He glanced down at Foxx who glared like he was still having a hard time believing it.

“Don’t worry,” Ash clicked, “I’ll share,” He flicked the ashes toward his former assailant, now captive.

After taking another breath, he put the cigarette out on that scarred cheek. Nostrils flared. “You sure are an ugly fucker. Why can’t Dino ever hire someone cute?”

He let the crumpled stump drop to the bed. ….he fantasized about what it would do if it was still lit and Foxx was covered in gasoline…  _ Let this whole fucking place burn down… _

He wiped himself off with his underwear and tossed them at Foxx just for the spite of it. They were soiled anyways. Ash chuckled at the disgust that crossed the man’s face.

The man was fuming, rattling the cuffs. Too proud to call for help, but just in case…

“No one is going to listen to you anyways. They heard the sounds we were making. This is just more ‘fun’.”

He reclined in the threadbare chair, shimming on his jeans, lacing his sneakers.

He jaunted over to where Foxx’s jacket and holsters were. The man’s free hand was scrabbling at the cuff, praying for the mechanism to be misaligned, any way to escape.

Taking his time, Ash took off his jacket and adjusted the holsters against his T-shirt before hiding them under denim.

He plucked his revolver from where it’d been tossed in the far corner of the room, checking how it was loaded, only watching the man nonchalantly.

_ What are you going to do? You gave me what I wanted? Did you assume it wouldn’t work out? …why did they always underestimate him. _

“Handcuff me to the bed for round three?” Callboy voice. Mocking. He twirled the gun in his slim fingers. “I wanted to just put a bullet in you, but now that’s not so appealing,”

“Do you like me?” Sweet poison. He climbed on the bed, wrestling down protesting legs to get face-level. He struck with the butt of the gun. Bloody. _ Good. _ “You’re not used to being in this position,” He was salivating. This is what power felt like. Righteous power. …he was not righteous, but this was his fantasy. _ It could be what he wanted. _

He pulled the man’s belt, grappled and tied his free arm with it. Upper arm to a vertical rung. It was an awkward rig, but effective. Buckle out of reach from teeth, too far for the cuffed hand to help. Not enough movement allotted to slip out. It would start pinching a nerve in a while. Permanent damage was within the realm of possibility.

He picked up the camera from where it’d been knocked to the floor. He debated pulling the casing open, exposing all the film. But six pictures left… _ I have an idea. _

 

_ I wonder how you like it. _

He grabbed his captives jaw, driving his face upwards. Make sure to frame his hands.

_ Click. _

_ Five. _ A sneer. He hit him again.

He let the camera drop to his chest as he straddled Foxx’s pelvis in mock sex, running the barrel of the revolver along his face. Wiping the blood from his split lip. Pressing in.

Quiet humiliation. Disbelief.

__ _ Why was it always so hard for them to believe? _

“Suck it,”

The man didn’t move.

“Do it, or I start cutting off fingers,” He brandished the ‘new’ tactical knife. “I doubt this is sharp, you seem to like when things hurt more,”

Mouth carefully opened. He shoved the gun inside, catching metal on teeth at every given opportunity, shoving it all the way to the back. Ash smiled at the gagging. “Oh, this one’s short though. You can’t take it?” Dangling from the strap, the camera bumped into the man’s chest.

Grey eyes glared, ‘ _ cocksucker _ ’ they accused him. Ash made a show of sticking his own fingers in his mouth, proving how far back they could go. “No gag reflex here. I don’t see what your issue is,”

He jammed the pistol in harder. Spit mixing with blood. More choking.

_ Click. _

_ Four more. S _ till no reaction. That was fine.

“If I pulled the trigger now, how long do you think it would take you to die?” No fear from the man, a dead look. Not dead yet, judging, calculating. It made him irrationally angry.

He rocked his hips, reaching back with his free hand, grabbing Foxx’s wilted erection.

_ Oh, now he was getting hard… _

“Did you come too hard? Is my sweet little ass too much for you?” He stroked the scarred face, digging his thumbnail into the mark he’d just made with the cigarette. It was rough and stubbly… He bounced his body, wrapping his hand around Foxx’s throat. He gripped the body with his knees and rocked against his chest, “Do you want to be inside me again? I’m so horny,” Rubbing theoretical dirt in the emotional wound.

_ Did he want to waste a pic on this?  _

 

_ Why not. _ He pressed his jean clad butt against the other’s member. A small sound. 

“Are you turned on?” He held the camera away from their bodies to get the angle.

_ Click. _

_ Three.  _ Even if the pic wasn’t clear the size difference and his slim hips would be.  _ You were caught by someone smaller and weaker and you. _

The friction felt good though…. _ Is what sexual power felt like?  _ He only knew power from the end of being wanted and manipulating that want, never the raw power of doing whatever he liked.

The man was evaluating, _ judging him…. Not even looking for an opening. Thoroughly unimpressed with him. _

He rattled the gun just to watch that expression move.

_ Look at me like an equal! Acknowledge me! I won! _

The pillows had been shifted to the side from the tussle of their earlier activities.

Cold eyes. Sociopath.  _ You kill people like me. You like killing people like me. _

_ I’m doing everyone a favor by getting rid of people like you. _

“Should I rape you? I’ve never done that before. Do you think I’d be good?” No response. … _ I’ve never wanted to do that. I still don’t… unless that’s what I need to do to get to you…Do I want to go there? _

 

_ Lies.  _

He’d done it once when he was fifteen, just to see if he could; but it made him feel sick. Sicker than when it happened to him. Guilty for weeks. _ ….You still did it. _

The bloodlust pounded through him. It was thrilling and unsettling.  _ When had he gotten like this? When? _

He pulled the gun from the other’s mouth.  _ Stop. _

_ I have a better idea.  _ He unlaced one of the colonel’s combat boots. Wrapping the cord around the man’s cock, pulling the skin taught.

_ Click. Two more.  _

_ ‘You’re tied up like a pretty package,’ _ the voice of a former client echoed in his head. Hands on him. Hands he couldn’t do anything about. He could never do anything. He _ always _ needed to wait for their guard to slip.

_ Maybe he should commemorate this? Yes, look at me. I won the hunt.  _

_ Nobody but my enemies need to know I did it.  _

He didn’t remember ever smiling for a camera.

_ Lies. You smile when Eiji takes- _

_ I’m smiling for Eiji, not the camera. _

__ __ _ Do you think he wants to see you like this? _

_        These pictures aren’t for him. _

_ Click. One left _

He’d seen them in the metal wastebasket. Twenty-one gauge, two inches long. At least they were thrown away.

_ You let your mind wander too much during sex, you notice weird things. _

_ If it didn’t wander I wouldn’t have half of these ideas. _

_ Use your IQ for something useful. _

_ Nope, I’m just good at killing people and taking dick. _

_ You could leave now. Do you want to touch any of that? _

_ It’s all gross, I don’t care. _

He picked up the wastebasket with one hand dumping it. The only contents; three needles.

__ _ Overkill. I only need two. _

Needles skewering his testes. The man grit his teeth from the pain.

_ Maybe I should use the last one on the head?  _ He tapped the needle against the tip of the organ, just enough to jab, enjoying his victims tense jawline… _. Maybe not. ….I could put it in his eye! _

_ No, you’ve done enough. _

_ He dropped the needle on the bed. _

_ This was a good finale. Humiliating. Painful. _

_ Click. _

Pulled tight by lacing. Shiny metal poking through delicate skin. It was a satisfying crunch as the needle pierced. Four times, entry and exit of each needle.

_ Serves you right motherfucker.  _

Look at those eyes.  _ Stop looking at me! _

He. screamed and smothered the figure with the pillow. _ More. More!  _ The body lurched and fought.  _ Finally. _

Someone under him, fighting him. No choice but to give into his power.

_ Stop. _

_ If you leave him alive, he’d just going to do it again.  _

_ True. _

_ Stop. _

_ Why would I want to stop? He wouldn’t stop if it was me. _

_ You’re better than this.  _

 

_ No, I’m NOT! _

_ Leave him alive. Send the pictures to Dino. Humiliate them both. _

_ …..I….  _

_ Kill him next time. You wanted him to suffer. Maybe he won’t come after you again. _

 

_ You know he will. They always do. They only stop when they’re dead. _

 

_ Maybe he’ll kill you next time. You can only stop when you’re dead. _

_ I don’t want to die. _

_ You keep saying that, but is it true? You keep getting yourself in these situations. _

 

He let up on the pillow and stepped off the bed. The room still stank. He hoped he wasn’t wearing any of the come stains. ….Foxx had let him leave his jacket on during….  _ Throw everything in the washer before Eiji sees. Quickly lock yourself in the darkroom and develop the film.  _ Hopefully he doesn’t have a project going on in there… _ Nobody should see these. _

 

_ I wonder if Eiji would still think I’m pretty if he saw these? _

 

_ You’re fucked up. Get back in the moment. _

He blew Foxx a kiss, twiddling his fingers with a sneer. “See you later,” 

Death glare. Good. His coach had never gotten to this point, even when the light faded out of his eyes.  _ This is what I am. Are you going to try to chase me again? _

_ Come chase me if you want,  I’ll kill you next time. Were you shocked? I’m a little desensitized to this. I’m sure Dino warned you, I’m a monster too.  _

_ I am dangerous. _

 

_ I am the same polarity as you. I have good reason to be. Feel honored that I let you live. _

_ I know who you are now, I won’t underestimate you again. _

The man on the bed was silent as he spat out blood. Ash assumed that meant the feeling was mutual….

…………………………….

  
  
  



End file.
